In your journeys pursuing the other sex, just remember: when you get rejected, it’s nothing personal. Simply fix your methods. Learning how to create attraction takes practice. It may be a bumpy road, because…
Many of the methods you learn will go against your habits.
Replacing old habits with new habits may feel strange, but these are growing pains – you will be thankful when you’ve gone through the process and have a shiny new habit in place.
For instance, a common habit some girls have is being too nice. Always overextending yourself, always available. This is the way to instantly lower your attractiveness. Break this habit. Adding a little edge to your game (know when to playfully tease, alternate distance and closeness) may seem uncomfortable at first, but you are simply learning a new habit. A habit that will serve you by increasing your attractiveness exponentially. How do you create new habits? Practice…
Practice makes perfect.
If you pursue one man and get rejected, just shrug it off. It’s nothing personal. Pick Up Artistry is a numbers game and a method game. By pursuing more men, you are increasing your chances for success. Simultaneously, you are learning through experience which methods work and which are duds. One failure is nothing. Five failures is something to learn from. Your ratio of success will increase the more you practice, in large part because you will be learning from your failures. Which brings us to…
Learn from your failures.
Albert Einstein said it best:
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
Every human interaction is an opportunity for you to learn from. If a method isn’t working, change it! If you see every interaction as a pleasurable learning process, you will be on the fast track to success. Study how people react to you. Try different things. Continually refine your approach and behavior. Take notes on your approaches and results. Consider yourself a scientist of human behavior, specializing in attraction.
So don’t beat yourself up over one phone call, one date, or even one dude. If you get rejected, learn from it, then add your lesson to your arsenal of attraction. Soon, you will be unstoppable.
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
The way I usually approach a guy I like is to kind of ignore his attempts at me but I notice I make it a little hard for them. My current boyfriend told me “If I didn’t like you so much, I probably wouldn’t have tried so hard”. I think that’s a good thing.
I had a bad experience with a player when I was on a break with my boyfriend. My making it for him made him totally give up (but it might have been a ruse) and since I liked him I made myself too available but thankfully nothing happened.
A female girl who sleeps around is not considered a PUA, have you ever heard of the double standard?
A master key can unlock many locks.
A lock that is opened by many keys is a shitty lock.
Think about it.
Au contraire, Playa. A female girl who sleeps around — with whoever she wants, mind — is not only a PUA but is also probably damn good in bed. The same cannot always be said for a man who sleeps around. Just saying.
So happy to see this site has been updated!
This is an interesting article that I’ve stumbled onto here. You’d think women would have it just a tad bit easier considering that all you have to do is engage and more often than not, the guy would respond. Regardless of her physical attraction or age, any woman that decides she wants to talk to me will have my attention. I think what matters is building a personality that’s attractive and uniquely you. If you like a guy and he doesn’t respond to you like you were hoping, he’s probably either on the same team as you or he’s just VERY shy.
I could be wrong, but I’ve never seen a guy reject a woman who was trying to engage him in interaction. However, I have seen plenty of times, especially from my own accounts of being rejected just trying to engage in conversation with a woman.
Hello, I am very new to this but I would appreciate your help with my situation. There is this bartender that I was instantly attracted to when I first saw him, but I did not let on how I felt. He gives me free drinks before I even buy anything, goes out of his way to talk with me when I purchase drinks from other bartenders or am at the opposite end of the bar, and I catch him glancing at me often during the night. I tip about 25% and am more generous when he gives me a free drink, but this is no different than how I act with any bartender- male or female. He is very attractive and I am sure he knows this. I am also very attractive and could be with any guy at the bar, but I don’t really know how to read bartenders. I liked the idea in an earlier post about asking what his favorite drink is and having him make that for me, but I would prefer to try something else. Are there any creative ways to get him to ask for my number because I never give it out unsolicited? Are there other ways to tell if he is just flirting because he is a bartender and I am an attractive female or if he is actually interested? I am used to guys coming to me, so I am unsure how to act in this situation because it is in his work environment. I have been more flirtatious with him lately, but nothing that even my friends notice as different from my normal personality. Any ideas of how to get him to ask me to do something outside of the bar? Actually any tips for me in general? Thank you so much- I love reading the posts and tips from everyone.
Amy_G this is what you do. Just pretend to have lost your phone and ask him to call your number, to help you find it while at the bar. Now he has your number and he can use it to call you if he is really interested.
I agree with Playa.