The road to Female Pick Up Artist success begins with a single step: makin’ conversation. With anyone and everyone. As a female, it can be intimidating to start a conversation with a hot dude. There’s the fear of seeming desperate, or dumb. Well, fear no longer, chickas! Here is your guide to becoming: The Ultimate Conversationalist.
1. Set a Daily Quota
Forget about talent. Pick Up Artistry is a numbers game. It’s simple: the more you practice, the better you’ll get. By talking to a mere 5 strangers a day, you’ll have spoken to 150 strangers in a month! If you get brushed off a few times, it won’t matter: there’s always another stranger around the corner.
2. Chat with Everyone
Chat with everyone: bank tellers, bus drivers, cable dudes. Open up to the world, & express yourself as a social being. Make this trait a part of who you are: a girl who talks to everyone. When the time comes to strike up a conversation with various, cute boy strangers, you’ll be ready.
3. Talk About Cool Stuff
Read different magazines, watch interesting t.v. programs, and remember tidbits to share with people. Did you know that scientists have genetically engineered “supermice” that can run five hours without stopping, and that same gene can be modified in humans? Neither did I, until I read News of the Weird.
4. Act Like You’re Friends Already
If you assume a friendly stance, people will respond in like. Behaving like you behave with your best friends will loosen you up, and add more relaxed fun and rapport to the situation.
5. Jokin’: Is Serious Business. Naht.
Smile and have fun. Everyone loves to have a laugh! Can you make ordering a latte more interesting? Try high-fivin’ your barista, whispering your order like it’s a secret, or asking for a nonfat sugarfree 8 pump vanilla 2 pump caramel quintuple shot extrahot iced coffee with coffee and ice on the side. Delish.
Then again, you can always order like Borat. “Kin I chav sexy time mocha? Iz for my lama. Verrry niiice!”
{ 45 comments… read them below or add one }
Fantastic article! I’ve used some of these — setting quotas and acting like you’re friends already — and they’re invaluable!
Fantastic article! I’ve used some of these — daily quotas, acting like we’re friends already — and the results are great.
Oops… thought the first post didn’t go through so I had to retype… Oh well… it’s uber-late my time, lol…
This is oddly the part I have the most trouble with (aside from closing)… Talking to strangers is not my strong suit… It’ll be something I work on.
From the standpoint of a male, I’d recommend not following the last part of #5, because the Borat movie is more than two years old now and everyone has already gotten sick of hearing people talk like him.
#3 is VERY important to follow. I personally can’t stand girls who are ignorant and can’t talk about current events with me, or girls who are too wrapped up in their own narcissistic fantasy worlds to care about issues bigger than them (politics, science, stuff happening around the world, etc.)
#2 is not that important. Of course it’s good to be social but it doesn’t have much of an affect on making guys attracted to you. There’s a certain romantic appeal to a cute, quiet, mysterious girl who does her job with confidence but doesn’t talk too much. Then we feel challenged to meet them and get them to open up and share their inner personality more.
But most importantly, please don’t talk like Borat.
I know I may get flamed for making this post but I’m really only helping you girls out. Follow this advice and you’ll thank me later.
Haha, no worries about flaming, Mr.Khan, I welcome all views, and I thank you for the comments! You are right about Borat jokes. They’re, shall we say…done.
I will say #2 is valid. Friendliness can have many tones – it can definitely be done with a quiet confidence, if that is that girl’s specific style. And friendliness encourages women to actively engage in the world around them, instead of passively waiting for some intrepid person to draw them out.
It’s the difference between hitchhiking and driving your own car – if you’re passive, you’re waiting for someone to choose to take you on. If you’re active, you’re going somewhere you choose – whether in a fast, flashy, fun style, or a slow, subtle, mysterious manner. The important thing is to be active in creating your life, and that extends to interacting with the world around you.
With that, I leave you with Borats Anonymous – just in time, whew!:
You are not going to get Flamed, the info that you have given is valid, and more importantly great.
Thank you,
Khan
Just a quick question. I am a guy, and I don’t see the point of becoming a PUA when you are a girl. If you are attractive, most guys will be more than happy if you go talk to them. You don’t even need to attempt a pick-up with a lot of them, just say “now” and many of them will go wherever you want them to go (some guys really have no self-respect…). And a lot of girls say they like confidence. Would you be able to be attracted to a guy not even able to go talk to you?
I am not trying to dismiss female PUAs, it’s just that it’s the first time I hear about it and I don’t really see the point, since the dynamics and the way of thinking between guys and girls are way different.
To answer your question:
However, even as a beautiful woman, if we become ‘needy’ too quickly, even the ideal match will run for the hills. Also, it’s nice to have sexual/relational confidence as a woman and choose who we would like to be with. It’s tiresome waiting for the perfect man to notice and pursue us, only to realize as he’s running that he wasn’t so perfect, mature and supportive as we thought he was.
in an ideal world, there’s no point.
Male and female minds are simply different. Women like sensitive men, who will understand their emotional needs. More men these days are trying to become like that, at least be open to that part of themselves. Men inherently like games and challenges, things where they can prove themselves, have fun, and accomplish something. More of us women want to meet the man half-way and help create the experience he’s looking for, so as to be more appealing as a mate (whether short or long-term). So this gaming (as I understand it) is doing just that.
My Question:
. I’ve started to make myself unavailable at times, and he’s starting to miss me. He’s a keeper and I want to know how to gain (back) his respect, in hopes of a long-term relationship. We’re both educated, professional, classy, intelligent, spiritual, witty etc. I should have some fun while I ‘wait’, yet, I don’t want to trigger his fears and loyalty issues (she cheated and then left him for another man). I also see he wants to work to keep me, wants to chase, he was soo happy when he finally reached me after a few days.
I’d like to know if this site is still up and running? ;-p I made a huge mistake and I want to correct it -and- learn some technique. The mistake I made was sleeping with the guy too soon (2 weeks). I didn’t realize I’d fall for him later. We fell for each other. He treats me like a princess/goddess, we have -fun-, we can talk about anything. Now he’s starting to negate me to FB status, saying he wants to explore other women, date, but just not sleep with them. He says he wants to be ‘sure’ about what we have. It’s understandable, he’s only been with one woman since he was 16 and he’s recently divorced. It’s going to take him a long time to get over her. I guess he needs to explore
I live in a small retirement town, so it’s difficult to increase my numbers, especially with quality men, as my standards are quite high. Is it worth going out with men I would never consider seriously, just so I won’t be home when he calls??? Yes! Still, this whole thing is nuts. I wish I could just be confident, mature, happy, together, and not worry about this stuff, still, I see a more assertive plan is required to get what I want
Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
What do you ladies think of the Christian Carter materials? Are they any good? I have the one little book, and I may get one of his other programs.
Are there any references to do with the more delicate psychology required to make the man yearn for you, and want to pull you into his ‘love trap’ ??? lol. That’s hilarious!
Is there a beginner reference guide for the acronyms used? What is IOI and what are the ‘signs’…?
re: Dating men you’re not initially “into”
Absolutely go out with guys you wouldn’t normally be interested in.
1) the experience of dating casually can be rewarding in and of itself. See it as a fun, positive experience; a way of stretching yourself and having new experiences.
2) increase your comfort level with men. See it as practice, the more time you spend with men, especially in the staged awkwardness of a date, the more you will be able to relax and open up in future interactions including with (or in front of) guys you already know like your “keeper”.
3) you may be surprised. You may find that a guy who you initially weren’t interested in is actually a keeper.
4) learn your likes and dislikes. even if he’s not your “type” he’s bound to have some redeeming qualities. note what’s a turn on and a turn off and you’ll have a better idea of what to look for in the next guy. You might even be able to see these things a little more clearly since you’re not blinded by a hard crush but once you’re keyed in you’ll be able to see them in another guy despite his penetrating gaze and adonis body type.
5) build up guy’s confidence by saying yes. the more guys hear yes from women when they ask for a date or a number the more likely they are to ask the rest of us after you pass on them after a few dates. Confident, attractive men are made, not born. And i mean yes, not “yes yes yes”. The latter will just make it harder for the rest of us.
Don’t sleep with them! When you’re trying to meet lots of new people and plus you’ve said you weren’t really that into them … it’s just oil and water. Besides a big source of negative experiences women have in dating is rejection after sleeping with a guy. Any guy who will dump you for not sleeping with him outside of an appropriate exclusive relationship is not one to cry over losing.
highly recommend: “How to Get a Date Worth Keeping” by Henry Cloud. It’s a healthy look at how to get game without playing games.
crap you guys need to have a code word to get to these comments..if the MPUA’s get wind of this (especially the anti-Fclose part) their going to launch a counter attack!
“Don’t sleep with them!”
Uh, I’ll sleep with anybody I damn well please. Who died and made you Mother Superior? You know, some women aren’t interested in a sappy LTR; some of us actually prefer casual sex. I don’t want some guy all up in my personal space, disrupting my me-time. I’m a loner, and the only time I even care to bother with a dude is when I get horny. I’m sorry you’re so old-fashioned and need to cling to a man like saran wrap, just so you can feel validated as a human being. I pity you.
Hi there, funny to read the posts. All this shit takes one slant on the hole issue: Woman wan’t steady long-term relationships instead of sex with ulta-hot guys. How middle-class religious moralistic and disgusting too. I thought we lived in a moderne day and age where females could pursue their desires without instantly been seens as a whore. No a woman who want’s hot sex with the most sexy guy in the room, but she’s not the hottest girl in the room – what does she do? Turn to technices to get his attention, snatching him in front of the doll-girls who intitially could afford to be self-centered and dull by compensating fully for their looks. Now heres the deal: It’s about sex – and getting the hottest guys! Go for it girls: Liberate – it’s the sanest alternative to swinging.
Pardon my bad english (I am danish)!
Ticktock what Aurora was stating is that if your interested in getting to know and date a man don’t sleep with him. You on the other hand, from your comment. Have clearly stated that you did not want a man invading your personal time, so your not interested in dating, and therefor this comment does not apply to you. Go get em’ girl, your right not every girl is looking to settle down but there are a few of us out here who are. It is a negative outlook to state that, that is disgusting, or self validating. Just as disgusting as it is to say that we think that your way is whorish, and dare I say self validating. What I mean by that, is that your trying to raise your self worth by bedding the most attractive man in the room instead of working on the things inside of you that make you worthy of getting to know. Most men no matter how good looking they are, will go for the easiest and cheapest piece of ass, any day, over a prude. Now when you win the hottest guy in the bar even though your not the hotest girl, and he took absolutely no time getting to know you. You know why now, he just wanted what you wanted. So the problem is solved. ;}
Peace
By the way I teach my girls not to cling, to find your best fit. This means you have no time to waste on someone who isn’t worth your time. When a woman clings it usually means that she is not getting returned attention, and affection. This means that the partner is not that into her. So therefore he is a waste of time, and not worthy of her affection in the first place.
IOI means Indicator Of Interest such as moving closer, pointing their body torward you, smiliing alot. So on and so forth.
” Any guy who will dump you for not sleeping with him outside of an appropriate exclusive relationship is not one to cry over losing.”
I think any man who cant respect a woman for choosing to sleep on the first date (or first few dates) has deep insecurity issues.
Another male comment. One thing what is very important was not mentioned above. There is this biological difference between man and woman, that man respond allot more on visual attraction. I know, that is not fair but you can better take it the way it is and then try to deal with it.
Male mind works very easy. Woman should take that as an advantage. There is one simple thing to say about it: try to appear as female as possible.
Sometimes I get the intuition being female means to some women the same as being slutty. I won’t explain the difference here. Please just make up your mind.
Don’t try to compete with men, especially not with your appearance.
Just be what you are biological. A man will love it when you are soft and warm. He likes the idea to protect you.
You don’t have to be a beauty queen. But try to be naturally female with a slight elegance in it. Wake his fantasy.
I have told the girls about feminine eloquence, and that the same does not apply to women as to men. If you would have read the comments in the other comments arena you would have seen just what you said was pre-voiced . I make it known that men want something the opposite of them, even if they are nothing but a nerd, you have to act even more feminine for them.
The main difference between males and females lies in EMOTIONS!!! if you want to be a PERFECT SEDUCER you have to be able to tell the difference between hooking up for the sake of fun and experimenting and between getting into serious relationships that can consume you..
Making things work for you lies in:
1. Realizing THE WAY YOU FEEL deep down inside
2. BECOMING AWARE that you have CONTROL over these emotions
3. and then ADJUSTING your emotions according to your needs and wishes
This may sound difficult at the beginning, but only takes a small period to start realizing that IT WORKS!!!
First of all start practicing with what i like to call the law of “DETACHEMENT”, which i will EXPLAIN
I really love your comment G Me. I have told the girls here somethings similar to that. I have also told them that increasing your numbers will give you little time to fantasize about one of your particular targets. I have told them about what I like to call the (What the fuck) syndrome. That we as females seem to think that we only deserve a certain level of man, and limit ourselves. But you have expressed was very wise, and so very true. Because no matter how you look at it there is alwaays someone better out there, and using control will help you better adjust your emotions to make yourself more available for the target that is worth your time. And that no matter what the man is out there looking for, it is usually not you. Like I have said, we are not meant to be with every man, and visa/versa. When I give a woman help on their dating situations, especially when the significant other has cheated. There is always a psychological reason for their cheating, and it usually has nothing to do with the woman he is cheating on. It is his own problem. Here are the three main reasons.
1. Men as well as women, are still preconditioned to our prehistoric upbringings. One of the most important men in a tribe was the one who impregnated the most women. This insured the survival of a tribe to live past the previous generation. Believe it or not men still think like this it makes them rise in their male friends eyes. I know it sound sick but true.
2. Men have self esteem issues too. When they are feeling particularly low about themselves, they rise in their own estimation, when they can pick up a woman and use her for one night. I know it sounds sick but true.
3. Men love to look good to other men and women, so if they have something pretty and new on his arm. More men like him because they might pick up his droppings. Women like him because we have an innate need to settle the bad boy down.
Now I am not making excuses for these men, because I always state that these men should be avoided at every cost because they are quite honestly not well adjusted if they need outward acceptance to accept themselves. Then I tell them to watch The missing piece meets the big O to help them understand more full what I am trying to get acrossed. Well I have to go
Peace.
#2 is not that important. Of course it’s good to be social but it doesn’t have much of an affect on making guys attracted to you. There’s a certain romantic appeal to a cute, quiet, mysterious girl who does her job with confidence but doesn’t talk too much. Then we feel challenged to meet them and get them to open up and share their inner personality more. – Mr Khan
Just a quick question. I am a guy, and I don’t see the point of becoming a PUA when you are a girl. If you are attractive, most guys will be more than happy if you go talk to them. – Nufan
You guys have a valid point. BUT NOT ALL WOMEN ARE CUTE AND ATTRACTIVE! Damn it! Sometimes as a guy I become very angry with my own kind because many of them dont seem to be able to see from the other point of view. Its as if their perspective is set only in one direction.
Using your own logic, whats the point of men learning PUA skills? Because if they are attractive they can just do nothing and women will come to seek his attention too!
The point of learning PUA skills is to be able to catch a fish in an ocean instead of catching a fish in a small pool that is presented to you because you only wait for it.
Women may be less visual than men, but they are still VISUAL BEINGS! A lot of women also want to have hot sexy guys as partners but they dont know how to get them. So they just pick the one that comes to them even though they dont feel 100% content with him. In the end both sides feel miserable.
So, I support 100% female PUA movement. But please dont use PUA skills as revenge tools to play men. Two wrongs dont make a right.
Hey there Jay thank you, for understanding. That is why I am here to help. I often times felt so very unattractive amidst the attractive women in Las Vegas. I know that there are so many women out there who feel inadequate in comparison to models in magazines, all the way to the women in pornos. I found it benificial to enternally change my view of myself. Therefore increasing my attractiveness, which in turns helps other women who may be bland to increase their attractiveness. I noticed certain things work with others. Just as any good sales person would know that mimicking a target increases their attractiveness to you. Well I got to get going. Talk to you later. Peace.
PUA skills that work for men actually also work for women because the truth is those skills are all about psychological manipulations.
Although, I personally believe no one should resort to attracting a mate using such skills for a serious relationship. Only use them for short term goals because you dont wanna be ‘fake’ forever if you know what I mean.
Personally, the only PUA skill I use is the approaching part because it is the most crucial. As for the rest, I just completely be myself and follow a take it or leave it method. Im not like other guys who are obsessed with scoring as many women as possible.
Allright, im a male, and have a bit of a backrground in the pua stuff too. Just want to say a couple of things. First, to any guys, and the guy who commented above, who are wondering why girls would even bother with this when, according to him, “guys only want hot girls”, my answer to that is simply, attraction is not a choice. Personally, while i do consider looks to be an important, they dont do it all for me. Beauty is common, its everything else that matters. Look at it this way, there are approx. 6.8 billion people in the world, and about 60% of them are female (my numbers could be a little rough) – I think it shouldnt be too hard to find another hot guy/girl. Whats hard is finding the guy/girl who meets all your other requirements and stuff.
Now… for the females
. I just have a little bit of constructive critisicm for ya’ll. First of all, in step five above, I agree with the general idea of being funny, but not with some of the suggestions. I really would not reccomend to you that you whisper your order to a guy or talk like borat. As for whispering, if i just met you and your whispering your order for cofee… Im gonna think ur nuts and almost instantaneoulsy lose all interest. If you want to be funny and convey the idea that you and him share a “secret”, there is a much better way to do so. Simply say something like, ” You know what i wanna do? I wanna dress you up as a priest and ill dress up as a nun and we’ll make out in public” (O.K. not the best example, but my mind is pretty blank on this right now lol). By giving the sense that you share a secret, you will build rapport. Also, using a line like that will get a good conversation going so you dont have those akward silent moments. Additionally, bringing up this inside joke in the future works as a good conversation starter and will remind this person of the good time they had with you, and they will remember the attraction they felt towards you in the event that you havnt talked to them for an extended amount of time. (Assuming you did have a good time and you both felt attraction toward each other).
As for #4 above, I strongly agree. In more technical terms, “acting like you are friends already” would be called assuming rapport. This is actually a highly debated pua topic, as some of the methods stress building rapport, and some say that you should simply assume rapport. I personally agree with assuming rapport. Its friendlier and it saves you from going through a whole bunch of B.S. to get the same end result.
As for steps 2 & 3 above, I also agree with those too. Number 1 I also agree with, but I would warn not to get too caught up in this. Remember, you want to have a life. You dont want to just go around trying to talk to random guys or people all day long and end up making that your number one hobby. Not only is this an unhealthy lifestyle, but it is unnactractive. How would you respond if you found out that my number 1 hobby happened to be going out on a regular basis to try and get girls?… You would think im a loser, and if getting guys is your number 1 hobby, ill think your a loser too. Make PUA part of your life, BUT DONT MAKE IT YOUR WHOLE LIFE. Like Jay said about being fake, you dont want that to happen to you too. Many PUA’s use “canned material” (lines and phrases to start conversations and other stuff) as their whole game plan. They make up a whole fake identity just so that they can hook up with girls. The issue with that? Eventually they run out of lines. The general concept of why one should learn pua, at least from the male side of it, is that you missed the social programming necessary to effectively socialize and hook up with the opposite sex, and now you have to learn all of it. PUA should be an addition to you, it shouldt be you. That being said, please dont take this whole thread as me trying to dis your whole FPUA thing you have going. Im only trying to help. I also dont want to see FPUA’s repeating the same mistakes that PUA’s made and continue making.
Good luck and continue learning… I do like my girls to have some PUA skills : )
Oh, and as for nikita’s post above. None of us could give a flying fuck (excuse my french) if you are gonna be anti full closing. First of all, if your not full closing, your not a PUA, your just an approach artist. Second, for all the girls that could become FPUA’s, there wil still be plenty of girls who arnt, and in the end, girls want sex just as much as guys, they just cover it up better because our society condemns them if they do have sex often with multiple partners. Also, you should realize that the more PUA skills a girl has, the better (in my opinion). I hate how boring and easy it is with some girls. Ive had girls that I literally said 3 things to to get digits. Do you have any idea how boring (and in my opinion, unnatractive) that is? I like a challenge. I like being tested. It shows intelligence and un-neediness on your part, which is attractive to me.
P.S. – A little acronym correction :p . PUA refers to pick up artists in general. MPUA actually means Master Pick Up Artist, not male pick up artist. MPUA’s are the best there is. Just trying to help : )
Good luck
Hey there pua. No, that is where you tend to be wrong, mr. pua. Full close means Fuck close. Since there is a double standard for women. Full closing would just let a Female who is practicing the pick up arts Demonstrate LSV. Yes for a male it may be a representation of a true PUA but not for a female. Degrading and bullying is a a very low form of psychology, but I have learned it’s effectiveness. I know that you are using it to turn the weaker females who may read your comment into a sexual being for your pleasure, and your pleasure alone. I do not like it. Those girls who will Fuck close probably have self esteem issues and do not even know that they are being picked up by someone who would like to call himself an artist.
Peace
I agree, its unnecessary for women to f-close unless that is what they want from their target.
Hey there Jay thank you, for understanding. That is why I am here to help. I often times felt so very unattractive amidst the attractive women in Las Vegas. I know that there are so many women out there who feel inadequate in comparison to models in magazines, all the way to the women in pornos. I found it benificial to enternally change my view of myself. Therefore increasing my attractiveness, which in turns helps other women who may be bland to increase their attractiveness. I noticed certain things work with others. Just as any good sales person would know that mimicking a target increases their attractiveness to you. Well I got to get going. Talk to you later. Peace.
I was extremely curious about this article, because i thought there would be some sort of advice for those of us who want to become picking up on guys … I’m a 25 y.o female with (i’ve been told by men) a beautiful face, very funny/smart/ social personality, and could always make friends. Unfortunately for me being chubby nowadays isn’t as great as it was in the 1800′s, when having extra meat on the bones was a sign of decadence, and meant that you didn’t have to provide me with food during winter . That being said, i really wanted to find tips on how, instead of making friends, I can make-out. Then one day, in college i took a sociology course and chose to use female sex appeal as a topic for a research project.
So i’ve read it all, nonverbal communication, flirting tips, sex appeal, eye contact. I even Interviewed 337 women and 337 men with a wide range of questions.
Tried most of it, (unsuccessfully) and realized there are only 2 things that you absolutely NEED to be able to pick up males
1. exuding Confidence which i know consists of good posture & eye contact.
and If you have confidence, and still can’t get a guy to take home with no strings attached…
2. Must have decent- hot body.
(Its funny how you can have # 2, lack #1 , be a social retard and still be successful)
I know what your thinking, Some girls with ugly bodies get men, and yes i know that’s true, but doesn’t happen very often. In fact, when the attractive male- unattractive female (which usually consisted of a pretty girl who was overweight) told me that they had been together before she gained the weight, then gained it gradually during the time they were dating.
I had # down pat, but when it came down to it, the body was the dealbreaker.
I was hoping, was wrong, not just hoping almost praying that i was wrong. So then, just to be absolutely sure, i did the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do.. I lost 65 pounds. Well let me tell you, now i cant stop them from approaching me, asking me out, and calling me. I’m the same person, just slightly slimmer and could now ” pick up” on whomever i wan’t. To be honset with you, I almost held a grudge, i find it really sad that the same guys who didn’t give me the time of day trying to apologize for never realizing how great i really was.
I hope somebody will prove me wrong, so if you strongly disagree, Please tell me. Until then, i have lost faith in that whole “it’s whats inside that counts” saying.
Wow. I am really amazed at reading all this. I think i have been doing everything wrong!! I am 39 years old, single (recently divorced) but still consider myself an attractive and socially competent woman. I never understood why i can attract men, have fun with them and then it all goes quiet? When i say have fun with them, im not talking about sex, im talking about conversation, laughing, all the right signals and eventually some number exchanging.
I guess that what i have learned from this is that i am probably too nice – yes i know that might even sound a little up my own ass – however, i just have liked to treat people the way i would like to be treated myself. I definitely need to retrain myself to play the game a little and not be so available i guess.
I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s opinions on this site – some i agree with and some i’ve found a little suprising. At the end of the day, we are all people, men or women and ultimately want something quite similar – even if we are biologically different.
With regards to the post left by “Baby” hey – you know, i am sorry to read your experience before you lost your weight. I share a house with another woman who had a totally different body shape to mine. She is larger and way more curvacious than me. We often go out together. Its true unfortunately that i do get attention often, probably due to being slimmer – however – i have helped her to embrace her curves and shown her how to accentuate, her waist and wear clothes that postively enhance all the parts of her that are – to put it bluntly – wow wee!!! I can honestly say that she has many successful nights out with me (and without me!) she is so so confident, intelligent and beautiful too and i hope that this combined with the advice above which is ultimately to be confident and not afraid to walk up to a guy, she has been able to show guys that she is alot more than what may initially hit the eye.
I am on the other hand, slimmer and find it easier to dress my body – yet im a little shy and not so great at the flirting – i am working on my confidence because its that that seems to be what guys really like in a woman. We need to be more fierce (in a positive way ladies!!) and still have a little bit of mystery……. i’m in training and working on myself!!
#2 is not that important. Of course it’s good to be social but it doesn’t have much of an affect on making guys attracted to you. There’s a certain romantic appeal to a cute, quiet, mysterious girl who does her job with confidence but doesn’t talk too much. Then we feel challenged to meet them and get them to open up and share their inner personality more. – Mr Khan
Just a quick question. I am a guy, and I don’t see the point of becoming a PUA when you are a girl. If you are attractive, most guys will be more than happy if you go talk to them. – Nufan
You guys have a valid point. BUT NOT ALL WOMEN ARE CUTE AND ATTRACTIVE! Damn it! Sometimes as a guy I become very angry with my own kind because many of them dont seem to be able to see from the other point of view. Its as if their perspective is set only in one direction.
Using your own logic, whats the point of men learning PUA skills? Because if they are attractive they can just do nothing and women will come to seek his attention too!
The point of learning PUA skills is to be able to catch a fish in an ocean instead of catching a fish in a small pool that is presented to you because you only wait for it.
Women may be less visual than men, but they are still VISUAL BEINGS! A lot of women also want to have hot sexy guys as partners but they dont know how to get them. So they just pick the one that comes to them even though they dont feel 100% content with him. In the end both sides feel miserable.
So, I support 100% female PUA movement. But please dont use PUA skills as revenge tools to play men. Two wrongs dont make a right.
BABY, the concept of ‘What is inside is the only thing that matters’ is stupid and simply unrealistic.
Im sorry to be blunt but the fact is that if that concept is true then the human race wont exist.
For one example, ever wonder why men like younger women? Its because since humans were still apes they already learned that older women were infertile. So until today men are still following the same thousands years old programming in thinking that ‘the younger the better’ although we no longer understand the reason why we think so.
The same thing with women. Average women physically want taller men. Why? Because it gives them assurance that those men are stronger than them, so they will be able to provide better protection.
I understand that with our more developed intelligence we should be more complicated, but let’s not forget no matter what we are still animals at the basic.
Hi, I know a guy who claimed his a pick up artist. We met just a few months ago but I can say we are kind of close now. Whenever his doing the game to other girls in school (the part where the PUA has to insult or degrade the girl or something like that) I always tell the girl that his just trying to pick her up. One time he told me he’s also doing the move on me. I told him it’s never going to work one me ‘coz i already know him. That must have challenged him ‘coz I’m starting to like him now. I think he’s doing the moves on me and sad to say it is working. He’s really not my type but I don’t know, this PUA thing is just good I guess. Do you know any way to counteract “the game”?
Please help me. Thanks. =)
Baby,
I have been into pick up for years now. I am a size 22. I am going to have to say, that I have never had a problem picking up on men. I have always been over weight. I have even been engaged a total of three times. Every time to a very attractive and successful man. Making over $75,000 a year. Every one of the engagements,I broke off. I have noticed that men like confidence and the ability to attract the mate they seem to think is uncatchable. Because of most of these over weight women’s view of themselves, they tend to get jealous easier, therefor making them viewed with lower social value.
Most women who are over weight give off a slovenly or piggish since of worth. A lot of overweight women have poorer hygene, or seem to have poorer hygene than their thinner counterparts. Overweight women dress with baggier clothes trying to hide their heftiness. Overweight women seem to try to hide in the backround in fear of being made fun of. This all makes an over weight woman look less attractive.
I have found that going against the social norms of what an over weight woman should do, actually changes a persons view of you. I let it be known that I have a high self worth. That anyone would have to work just as hard for my attention, as they would a model. I dress to accentuate my positives. I talk fast and with a bouncy fluidity, where people have to catch up with what I am saying, and not visa/versa. I often have a sharp or witty comment for every turn of events, making my conversation the one that people want to talk about. I eat, act, keep my house, and talk, the opposite of what the social concepts of what an over weight person would be.
There is a way to be above a social standard. I found that I simply do not fit into the conception of the standards set forth by others. I am better, and I am sure there are other over weight women who find they are better too.
Why was my last post deemed invalid? Answer at my email address if you would please.
hi venus, i’ve been following your blog for the last couple of months.. that’s after i met a guy who claims he’s a pick up artist. i got so curious about the thing so i researched about it and that’s how i stumbled upon you site. i find it very intresting and informative. I’ve left a comment here before but u haven’t replied to it yet anyway i just got more curious coz i am also over weight and the pick artist that i’m talking about, i don’t know i just feel like he likes me. i dont think im just assuming coz our close friends also felt that there’s something going on between us. But i don’t know.. he keeps on telling me i have a pretty face and good personality, that i’m smart, i’m witty but he stops there. It’s so frustrating to feel that someone likes you but not enough for him to see right through you coz you’re covered with fats. i cried when i read baby’s comment ‘coz i know that that’s the only way i’ll be able to make all the guys i like like me but isn’t sweeter to feel loved despite of the fats and flaws and all that. is there a way we can met in person ‘coz i really need your help.
I am in no position to post my whereabouts due to the amount of unwanted attention I would have to stave off. There are alot of things that can be done to draw the right kind of attention to yourself. Unfortunately as you are aware, my helping girls is limited in this room. You may contact me in yahoo just my name spelled with a z then duran. Let’s see if this get through the moderator. Peace.
I recently met a guy on holiday, who i liked enough to carry on seeing when I got home. I went to his flat for the first time last week and noticed a book he had called The Game written by a PUA. I bought the book and read it, initially for a laugh and something to talk about. After reading it, I realised that nearly everything the guy im meeting had said and done are instructed in the book and now i feel like i dont know the guy at all and feel cheated. I do agree with the concept to a certain level but you cant give up important parts of yourself, as your flaws and stupid habits are the things which someone will love you for in the end.
Hey there Jam,
I know seems a bit corney doesn’t it. I think that girls are going to start catching on soon and reject those men, faster then they would reject a man who is just trying to get to know them. I mean that’s what I do. I can see a neg from a mile away. I cannot stand a man who is trying to peacock, and uses some dorkey fake name, but hey that’s just me. I need a real man. Not a man who get’s his material from a book. I teach that girls need to get to know themselves before they can be effective pickup artists, and they can use that material to increase their numbers. Which is really not material it is just them being them.
@Venus-
You are giving the male PUAs a really bad reputation. The male PUA, a great number of us, used to be hopeless romantic who would bring a woman flowers, treat her right, give her compliments and always be there for her, but then get rejected of have that woman leave them for a Bad boy or just someone who would not treat her right.We were also very shy people who did not know how to socialize and are scared of walking up to women and talking to them.
In every group, there are bad eggs, that’s just how it is, just like there is a small number of women and men that are bad people as well.
The whole point of being a Male PUA is to accept and appreciate women, increase the chance of meeting more women , thus finding the perfect match . A male PUA is a more self assured person. And the part about where PUA’s use canned openers, not true, we make up our own openers, and the stories are from our own life, I mean you name a better way to break the ice and talk about ourselves, get to know the woman and demonstrate our value and personality.
The so called “Neg” was something I never wanted to use, but has to be used unfortunately. I mean I don’t want to neg a woman, but women just have a good response to a neg and it keeps thing exciting. I remember keeping as non-insulting as possible, very light-hearted and would then say something positive about her. If I never “negged” a woman, then she would lose interest very quickly and not be interested in me.And just to make sure that negging had to be done, I did not neg a total 0f 137 women and only 6 of them responded positively. Now you tell me that “negging” is unnessary. In the past, I “negged” the present love of my life when I picked her up.But if you have something I can do rather than “negging”, then I would really like to hear it.
Being a male PUA is a form of better presentation more than anything else. It does not change the person you are, but only projects your personality better on the woman a male wants to date.If the woman does not like this personality of mine, then I will not proceed to date the person, but rather look for someone more interested in my time.
I was a PUA, but now I have found a wonderful woman who I am very compatible , happy and attracted to with and been with for 4 years. We had a wonderful date on a ferris wheel followed by a cruise ship date to celebrate our four year anniversary 3 months ago.
BTW, she’s my fiance as I proposed to her on the anniversary night.
@Jam-
Don’t worry, if he is a jerk then you will soon know. You see if he is a pick-up artist, he will never know how to maintain a relationship and most of the tactics he will use will be very repetitive. IF he is being true to himself and to you and really letting you know who he is as a person, then you are also safe.
If you have a very high self esteem and project it effectively, then you will automatically come to know anyways if he does not want to get to know you as he will throw a huge amount of negs.If he negs you slightly and seldomly in a playful way , then do not worry.
If he is a pick up artist, but respects women enough to say, hey, I have gotten to know you and I do not think we are compatible, then that is what you call a good male pick up artist( which most of us are anyways). If he only tries to set up multiple sexual dates, then you have to keep away from him as he is a bad egg in PUA in that case.
Venus at the moment my level would be rAFC, I used to be a natural before marijuana got to me. While I was natural if I ever heard of a PUA I would have laughed on the spot! since weed has gotten to me I encountered paranoia, depression and anxiety problems. From my previous experiences in the last year 30 of my closest circle of friends had left the group because they didn’t know how to handle me, most left town others have stopped seeing me because the state I was in, I also quit my job because I worked in customer service and with the conditions I was in it made it really hard for me for day to days work. I’m not posting this because I want everyone to feel sorry for me, in fact Ive had too many people feeling sorry for me already. The reason I’m posting is because I heard about a community of pick up artist training to pick up women and be successful, after reading some stuff on books and forum sites I realized it was all a practice about interacting with people and being social with one another. In my first few days reading what interested me was how difficult it is for these men just to talk to women, which I could only understand through the experience Ive recently had and which I found out later why.
What I also found out was some men are there to learn how to pick up women, some wants to be players, some likes to learn and others like myself are just trying to overcome some illness like anxiety problems, paranoia, depression etc….
There are also a lot of gurus out there and mPUAs who all have different point of views in picking up women, Ive noticed some guys will follow routines but the way I see it I’m only using the canned lines so I can get the hang of talking to people with out getting paranoid in what they are saying. From where I have come from I am now able to talk to women, I can now interact with people with out getting paranoid or going into my head every time they talked. For me learning how to pick up women is a bonus because at the same I can still over come my paranoia, anxiety and depression. I still have a long journey ahead of me to become a real PUA but for the mean time Id still use some canned materials to pick up or talk to women, some of the material and ideas other people have is not just creative but also brilliant and Im not talking about gurus canned materials Im talking about the people learning to be PUA. Theres a book ‘rules of the game’ which is a book to teach men or young men like myself to become a PUA, the book teaches men how to make their own openers.
Good luck to all you women and I hope we don’t bump into each other in the future, I wouldn’t want any female PUA to call me out as a PUA.
Cheers,
Dilaks
I agree with Venus – “I think that girls are going to start catching on soon and reject those men, faster then they would reject a man who is just trying to get to know them.”
I am trained in Mystery Method, and it is absolutely great for men to understand or have some structure in meeting women and understanding where they are in relationships. The abuse of using other people’s material, and never developing your own personality into this structure is limiting your personal development.
Openers are general conversation, it’s pretty innocent, and all 5 steps given here will exercise your ability to open a stranger.
I too can recognize a neg from a mile away, and, ***watch out girls, you use negs for the same reasons boys do, so when you neg me, I know you are hitting on me.
I choose Disqualifiers, that do not negatively effect anyone’s self esteem, but just for my own safety, I do not want a strange woman to think I am interested in her. The whole point of holding a conversation is to find out what she is like anyways, and if she is ‘worth’ getting to know better.
IOI’s are the ultimate weakness to men. I know so many men who know openers and stories, games, magic tricks, etc. But can not tell when a woman is interested in them. If men would learn IOI’s and IOD’s, then the rest would be a piece of cake.
Knowing that people need to be comfortable with each other is a no brainer, just guys need to know that they need to be attractive to a woman BEFORE they get comfortable with each others company, OTHERWISE, you might as well be one of her girl-friends, because into the friend zone you will go.
Seduction follows after a woman meets you, is attracted to you, and is comfortable with you. May sound like common knowledge to women, but men don’t get it. Honestly girls, how many times has a man introduced himself, then immediately tried to seduce you? Creepy isn’t it?
And to share a secret, I learned my ‘seduction game’ from Pepé Le Pew.
The lines, openers, games, DHV spikes/stories, blah blah blah are really only meant to be examples, until you develop how it is supposed to work.
…too bad some people do not develop their own personality, become quoting robots, and frankly, never really introduce themselves to the girls into weeks-months into the relationship… you know, when they finally run out of material…
Gotta love Pepe’ Le Pew the original Zen Master of the pickup arts. That is exactly what I mean, these canned routines don’t work unless it is heavily laden with your personality, and changes. Making stuff up for girls to look at will only get you so far. You will only attract the ones that are easily distracted by bright objects. The same goes for us as women. Believe me even being beautiful will not keep a man around. They lose interest too. I mean yes a high self esteem and good looks will keep your foot in the door. But you have to continue to be originally you, or otherwise it will not work long term. I never use the same thing over again. I use my personality and my ability to liven any conversation. For some odd reason that keeps men going. If you want a movie to watch to point it out more vividly then you must watch Vanity Fair. The one with Reese witherspoon. Her quips just keep the men mooning over her. Another one is Gone with the Wind. The main characters have this almost unreachable expectation of themselves. Makes it hard for any man to obtain and that is why they want them more. They are also completely individuals. Noone can tell them what or how to do anything.
Peace